Life in Austin

laughterkey:

mogarisreadytoblog:

mrcaseythegreat:

miss-mcguiness:

imleigh:

“DONT BOTHER COMING HOME”

“GONNA SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE.”

"I ACCIDENTALLY HAD SEX WITH IT."

"NOW WE’RE IN LOVE"

I will never not love dog texts.

Fun fact: If you read the dog’s voice in your head as Mantzoukas, it gets even funnier.

(Source: iraffiruse, via wilwheaton)

Young People: if you ever hear someone say that they are going to “take him/her behind the woodshed” in the future and you don’t understand what that phrase means, just remember this Superbowl game to understand what that phrase means when used in context:

The Seahawks took the Broncos behind the woodshed in the Superbowl. 

TIL: Scrappy-Doo is a Dobihuahua. 

Superbowl XLVIII Thoughts

Here is a recap of the Kearse touchdown: Whiff. Whiff. Whiff. Whiff. Whiff. Touchdown.

The Broncos are really sucking. Where is Bobby Boucher when you need him?

I haven’t seen a beating like this since Bugs Bunny took on the Gas House Gorillas. 

and finally, I can explain everything going on in this game - The Seahawks clearly switched all the Sativa in the Broncos secret stash for Indica

Now THAT’S how to do a SuperBowl 1/2 time show.

I think this young lad is going places… and the old guys don’t suck either!

Today: Taught myself and mastered how to create pivot tables in SQL. Tomorrow: World Domination.

a-heart-of-calcifer:

ehlnofey:

When Ken Morrish picked this apple off a tree in his garden, he thought a prankster had painted half of it red.
But after inspecting it closely he realised that the remarkable split colours on the fruit were a natural phenomenon. And the bizarre apple turned Mr Morrish into something of a celebrity in his village with scores of neighbours queuing up to take a photograph of it.
Experts say that the odds of finding an apple with such a perfect line between the green and the red are more than 1million to one. [source]

My Biology major boyfriend got a scholarship for excellence in Botany as well as a scholarship for excellence in Biology and Zoology
I asked him if this his possible and all he said was “I don’t know, plants are fucking weird”

a-heart-of-calcifer:

ehlnofey:

When Ken Morrish picked this apple off a tree in his garden, he thought a prankster had painted half of it red.

But after inspecting it closely he realised that the remarkable split colours on the fruit were a natural phenomenon. And the bizarre apple turned Mr Morrish into something of a celebrity in his village with scores of neighbours queuing up to take a photograph of it.

Experts say that the odds of finding an apple with such a perfect line between the green and the red are more than 1million to one. [source]

My Biology major boyfriend got a scholarship for excellence in Botany as well as a scholarship for excellence in Biology and Zoology

I asked him if this his possible and all he said was “I don’t know, plants are fucking weird”

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

Of course, the bag would be shaped like a bucket.

(via Lays)

sufliso:

tentacletherapissed:

reminder that these trees are full grown. amazing.

goodbye

sufliso:

tentacletherapissed:

reminder that these trees are full grown. amazing.

goodbye

(Source: flowersgardenlove, via littlegirlinwaiting)

The psychic in the Time Warner Cable commercials may quite possibly be the creepiest character EVAR. 

The psychic in the Time Warner Cable commercials may quite possibly be the creepiest character EVAR.